Rachel Ann Love
“Don’t Give the Keys to Your Inner Child..
She Can’t Drive “
Lots of workshops, books and programs promoting our Inner Child but I am here to share with you that she might be just as messed up as your older self. You see most of our beliefs systems are created very early in our lives. From the womb to five years old we gather as much information as we can and make adjustments and allowances to function and survive in our world. Most of this information we attain from parents, family, church and daycare. There is a very good chance that some of the things you understood as a child are wrong for an adult.
Let me state again that most of our understanding of our world has been learned as a child. And many if not most of the things we learn as children are not true. One big example, Santa Clause is not really an actual big old white guy with long beard and red suit. Sure many people play him at stores and parties and a few have actually gone the full year fairy tale life. But the guy that we expected as children to come Christmas Eve with Flying Reindeer and toys built at the North Pole by Elves is not real. Yes he is built on a collection of legends and real men but he is a make believe character that has been used to encourage good behavior in children and to sell toys and Christmas decorations to the American Public.
May I remind you of the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and the many other fictional characters we have lead children to believe in for many generations? May I add reference to other fairy tales also like the Prince who wakes Sleeping beauty with his kiss? The Wicked Witch, the Wolf and the Tree Little Pigs and the Wolf who dresses like a Grandmother to eat Little Red Riding Hood. Most of these stories we have heard and even believed for a time in our lives until we grew old enough to question. The unfortunate thing is that many people have still left more than a few of these stories in their memories to influence their lives now as adults.
What do I mean by that? It’s just this, not everything we learned as small children serves us well as adults. The belief in a savior coming to rescue us can cause us to stay in a bad relationship waiting for a rescue that never comes. Instead of leaving the situation we stay waiting while our lives go by or worst we die by not leaving a dangerous situation.
Believing if we do everything right we will get a reward by a generous stranger. How many times has others been promoted or rewarded while not being good while you being good and following the rules resulted in nothing for you.
These examples I have shared are only the tip of the iceberg. Let me concentrate just a bit on your belief in yourself. Do you believe you can do anything you set your mind to do? Do you believe you deserve to be loved? Do you believe you will live to a ripe old age? Do you believe you will always be healthy? I have seen that many people actually believe that they do not believe that they deserve to be loved. They do not believe they can have anything they want. They do not believe they will be healthy and they do not believe they will live long enough to grow old.
Why is that? Because they have been told a lie while they were yet very young and these lies have become a part of their Inner Voice, their Inner Child and they believe at a very deep level that they will not succeed in life. By learning life as a child they believed the adults who told them that they were bad children. They believed the adults and family members that said they were stupid. They believed many of these negative things just as surely as there is a Santa Clause. Sure most everyone outgrew the idea of Santa. Friends and evidence proved to most that he was a make believe character. But the belief in your self is much harder to disprove than a heavy set guy in red who hangs with Flying Reindeer.
Why is that? How can we grasp the concept of Fairy Tales being just that Fairy Tales but we miss the make believe that determines our course in life? Good question and may I say that it took me much longer than I would like to admit before I understood that most of my decisions and outcomes of my life was affected by these Lies.
You see most Fairy Tales were created to manipulate you into good behavior. The story or legend after it has been around a long time was designed to motivate you into a behavior that benefited someone else not you. Well at least not you in the long run. Sure it helped you behave properly while at home as a child and you got rewarded by that special Christmas Doll or truck but over a course of a life you paid dearly for that Christmas Gift.
Mentioned once already the idea that if you follow all the rules and act good you will get a present. Then you watch others who don’t play by the rules are rewarded. You do everything your partner asks you in life and he still treats you badly. You complain and you wish that someone will come by in a white horse and kiss you but it never happens. You never guess that maybe the belief you have inside your head is not based on reality. It is based on Fairy Tales.
Let’s touch on spiritual beliefs for a paragraph or two may I? Many people have been brought up on a Fairy Tale of a spiritual world where everyone falls short of being good enough. And because of this will pay for our shortcomings in a distant spiritual world. This can be prevented if you ask for forgiveness from an invisible being that is represented by organizations that allow you to give time and money to them.
This belief system not only causes many to feel that they can’t possible please someone they can’t actually see but that by paying a price in money or work they will be ok. Now this might be a stretch for many to understand. But if you look at this as a business of selling forgiveness or by representing a powerful invisible entity that can cause you to suffer or death there is a possibility that it could create a belief system that everything can be bought.
Many have seen the fallout from a belief system built on money. Many people have hurt others for the possibility of making money. Many have learned that making money is the most important things as even god needs money. Money has paid for forgiveness for many souls and for many crimes. It has paid for education and has also taken away money from others to prevent them from an education. Money has become a focus that has caused widespread pollution, death and suffering for millions.
But for this subject what it has caused in many hearts is a belief in a system where it is ok to allow others to be hurt because they don’t agree with the rules of the organization. If you question these beliefs you will face punishment, family rejection, community rejection and more. Many people have felt an unworthiness after being rejected from the organizations and have participated in hurtful activities to themselves because they believe they have earned to be hurt. Many others have found themselves in other organizations that accept them after being rejected by others but are reminded how lucky they have been for being accepted and end up paying more for that forgiveness than before, like increased interest rates for higher risk borrowers.
The belief in the Fairy Tale of an angry god and the organization has also caused a belief system in value between the genders. Imagine if the organizations needed more members what would help in recruiting more members. Yes creating more children. So they system that was created was marriage and the encouragement of reproduction. Citing a Priest who told me that sex is only allowed between a man and a woman with the intention to birth a baby and any other sexual activity would be wrong. This Fairy Tale has caused more sexual frustration, scandals and guilt than money could fix.
Now you’re thinking I know better than that. I have been around. Great let’s look at another Fairy Tale that might be affecting you. The belief that you can’t change your future as you’re not smart enough to achieve anymore than your daddy did. This Fairy Tale is started with the first words out of your mother’s mouth when you’re born. “Oh He looks Just like his Father” And for years every time you do something the comment “You’re just like your Father” is uttered. Now to be fair this Fairy Tale could be a sight benefit if your daddy was intelligent, wealthy and remarkable in many ways but most of the time these phrases are aimed at something negative. And even at the best case scenario you feel limited to not be able to achieve any more that he did. The truth is every one of us can achieve anything we believe in.
That is the crux of the issue; we can achieve anything we believe in and that pretty much sums up my point. If you honestly believe at the “Inner Child” level something, then that “Something” has been your Blue Print or “Set Point” for your entire life. No matter how often you try to change it your life seems to go back to a point of where you began. Frustrating as trying to fast for a diet and not lose weight. Or to lose weight and gain it back next month your life has become a cycle of attempts and failures and you end up back at your beginning Set Point.
How do you change this cycle? Is there a way? What are you selling? Sorry I had to throw that in the “Selling” part because we are so used to paying for everything it is hard to believe in anything that doesn’t have a “Price Tag” attached. All I believe you need to start this process of change is to reexamine your “Inner Child Beliefs” And that is as simple as taking some time and writing down your beliefs about yourself. Then after some reflection ask yourself “Why Do I Believe this”?
Exactly as you did when you doubted the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny you should examine all the beliefs you learned as a child. Look at them as an adult someone who has experienced life a bit more. Someone who has given the beliefs a good trying out and have found that they have cycled right back to their “Inner Child Set Points”. Seriously ask yourself a few pointed questions, Are you worthy for success? Are you happy with your life? Do you desire more life and less pain? Would you like to be in Love with your life? Would you like to have more than enough to travel?
Questions worth taking the time to ask, as I stated in the title of this little question and ask for answers the answer is not allowing your “Inner Child to Drive”. No she doesn’t know how to drive any better than you have done so far. Take time to take ask the questions and seek your answers, then take the Drivers Test.